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The Velmora Lifestyle Glossary

A plain-language reference for lifestyle terminology, consent vocabulary, and ethical non-monogamy concepts.

Collections

Beginner Lifestyle TermsThe essential vocabulary every newcomer to the lifestyle needs to know. These foundational terms cover consent, communication, and the basics of swinging and ethical non-monogamy.Swinging DefinitionsA complete reference for swinging terminology — from soft swap and full swap to lifestyle clubs, play parties, and the etiquette that makes every encounter enjoyable.Consent & Safety TermsSafety and consent are the foundation of every positive lifestyle experience. This collection covers the vocabulary of boundaries, communication, and responsible play.Lifestyle Relationship TermsThe lifestyle includes a wide spectrum of relationship styles beyond traditional monogamy. This collection covers polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, and more.Club & Resort TermsPlanning your first lifestyle club visit or resort trip? This collection covers everything you need to know about lifestyle venues, events, and the etiquette that makes them welcoming spaces.Online Lifestyle TermsNavigating lifestyle communities online comes with its own vocabulary. This collection covers the terms you will encounter on lifestyle apps, forums, and social platforms.

Topical Hubs

Consent HubEverything you need to understand consent in the lifestyle. This hub brings together the most important terms around boundaries, communication, safe words, and aftercare — the non-negotiable foundations of every positive lifestyle experience.Relationship Styles HubThe lifestyle encompasses a wide range of relationship structures. This hub explores the full spectrum from open relationships and swinging to polyamory and relationship anarchy.Swinging HubThe definitive topical cluster for swinging. From soft swap and full swap to lifestyle clubs and play parties, this hub covers every term you need to understand the swinging side of the lifestyle.Club Life HubEverything you need to know before visiting a lifestyle club or resort. This hub covers the venues, the etiquette, the play spaces, and the community norms that make club life enjoyable for everyone.Communication HubGreat communication is the single most important skill in the lifestyle. This hub brings together all the terms related to talking openly with partners, setting expectations, and navigating difficult conversations.Beginners HubNew to the lifestyle? This hub is your starting point. It brings together the most important foundational terms, etiquette guides, and safety concepts that every newcomer should understand before their first experience.

Glossary Terms

AC/DC**AC/DC** is informal shorthand that some adults use to mean attraction to more than one gender. It is not a universal label and may feel dated or too broad for some people. Only the individual using it can say whether i AdultIn the lifestyle, **adult** means a person who has reached the legal age of majority and can make informed choices about their own participation. It is not simply a label for mature subject matter. It also carries an exp Adult ArcadeAn **adult arcade** is a commercial, [adults-only](/explore/glossary/adults-only) venue that may offer private viewing booths or other adult-oriented entertainment. The name does not establish a single experience: servic Adult Theaters**Adult theaters** are commercial venues that screen mature, age-restricted films or other adult entertainment. They are not automatically social lifestyle spaces, and a venue’s name does not explain its local rules, aud Adults-Only**Adults-only** describes a space, event, service, or piece of content restricted to people who have reached the legal age of majority. In lifestyle settings, the label signals an age-restricted environment; it does not AftercareAftercare refers to the intentional time and attention given to all participants after an intimate or emotionally intense experience. [In the lifestyle community, aftercare](/explore/education/aftercare-guide-for-lifesty Airtight**Airtight** is explicit adult-scene slang for a multi-partner configuration involving more than one form of penetration at once. Because it is a broad label for an intense scenario, no one should rely on the word in pla All-Inclusive ResortAn all-inclusive resort is a property where a single upfront price covers accommodation, all meals, drinks, entertainment, and most activities. Most lifestyle resorts operate on an all-inclusive model, which simplifies b Anal**Anal** is a broad word for adult intimacy involving the anus or surrounding area. It can mean different activities to different people, so a label alone does not establish plans, experience, or comfort. A gradual, pers Anal Beads**Anal beads** are a series of connected rounded pieces designed for consensual adult use. They come in different materials, sizes, and designs, and a product name does not indicate anyone’s experience level or interest.Anal PlugAn **anal plug** is an insertable adult sex toy designed for anal use. Product shapes, materials, and intended uses vary. The term is sometimes used interchangeably with “butt plug,” which is why this package treats that Anal Training**Anal training** describes a gradual, consensual approach to exploring anal play over time. People use the term differently, and it should not be treated as a challenge, a required progression, or a measure of experienc Anchor PartnerA partner who provides emotional stability, consistency, and grounding in a polyamorous relationship network. An anchor partner is not necessarily a primary partner in a hierarchical sense, but someone whose presence fee Anilingus**Anilingus** is the clinical term for oral contact with the anus between consenting adults. It may also be referred to by informal slang, but no term establishes interest or permission. Like any intimate activity, it ca Ball GagA ball gag is a type of gag that rests in or across the mouth and may be used as part of an agreed BDSM scene. It can change how someone speaks, breathes, signals, and experiences vulnerability. Because it limits verbal BathhousesBathhouses are venues built around bathing facilities. In some adult-community contexts, the word can describe a social or sexual venue; in other settings, it simply refers to a wellness, spa, or bathing facility. Polici BBW**BBW** is shorthand for “big beautiful woman.” Some people use it as a self-chosen, body-positive descriptor or a search label in adult dating spaces. It should not be assigned to someone based on appearance, and it doe BDSMBDSM is an acronym that stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. It encompasses a wide range of consensual adult activities involving power exchange, physical restraint, role Bi-CuriousBi-curious is a term some people use when they are exploring or questioning whether they may feel attraction beyond the gender or genders they have previously dated. It can describe curiosity, openness, or an early stage BisexualBisexual is an orientation describing the capacity to experience attraction to more than one gender. The way bisexual people describe their attraction, relationships, and community can vary widely, and no single dating h Black Sheet PartyA **black sheet party** is a themed adult event label that may be used differently by different hosts, venues, or local communities. The name alone does not establish what activities are expected, what privacy rules appl Blindfold / BlindfoldingBlindfolding is the consensual use of a covering over someone's eyes to reduce or remove sight during an intimate, sensory, or BDSM experience. Losing visual information can heighten anticipation and trust, but it can al BondageBondage is the consensual use of restraint or restricted movement as part of a BDSM or intimate scene. It can be symbolic, decorative, sensory, or part of an agreed power dynamic. The meaning comes from the participants'Boot WorshipBoot worship is a consensual activity in which boots or footwear are treated as a focus of attention, admiration, service, or a power-exchange dynamic. For some people it is an aesthetic interest; for others it carries r BoundariesBoundaries are the personal limits that individuals set around what they are and are not comfortable with in any given situation. In the lifestyle community, boundaries are discussed openly and respected absolutely. They BratIn a BDSM context, a brat is a person who playfully teases, challenges, or resists within an agreed power dynamic. The behavior may invite a response from a partner, but it is not a license for real disrespect, punishmen Breath PlayBreath play is an umbrella term for activities that intentionally affect a person's breathing or the sensation of breathing during an adult BDSM scene. It carries a serious risk of injury, loss of consciousness, or death BullA bull is a man who engages in sexual activity with a woman in the presence or with the knowledge of her partner, typically as part of a [hotwife](/explore/glossary/hotwife) or [cuckold](/explore/glossary/cuckold) dynami BYOBBYOB usually means “Bring Your Own Beverage.” In an event listing or invitation, it indicates that guests may be expected or permitted to bring their own drinks rather than relying on a host to provide them. The shorthan BYOCBYOC means “Bring Your Own Condoms” in some adult-event and lifestyle-community contexts. It is practical shorthand indicating that attendees are expected to supply their own barrier protection rather than assuming a hos BYOL**BYOL** means “bring your own lube.” It may appear in a party invitation, packing list, or house rule to encourage guests to bring products they personally prefer or need. It is a practical preparation note, not an assu Bystander InterventionBystander intervention is the practice of stepping in when you witness a potential consent violation, uncomfortable situation, or unsafe behaviour at a lifestyle event or club. Effective bystander intervention does not r Can Entertain**Can entertain** means someone is able and willing to host a social or intimate visit at their own home, hotel room, or other approved private location. It describes logistics, not automatic availability or consent to m CaningCaning is a form of consensual impact play that uses a cane or similar implement to create sensation. People may be drawn to its ritual, sound, intensity, or place within a negotiated power dynamic. It is not interchange CannabisCannabis is a psychoactive substance that may be used recreationally or medically, depending on local law and personal circumstances. In social or intimate settings, its effects can vary widely: some people feel more rel Casual SexCasual sex describes consensual sexual contact that is not necessarily part of a committed or exclusive romantic relationship. The phrase speaks to the expectations around the connection, not to its value, seriousness, o CFNM**CFNM** means “clothed female, naked male.” In adult or kink conversation, it describes a possible visual arrangement or power dynamic. The letters do not define anyone’s role, orientation, relationship status, or comfo ChastityChastity is a consensual practice in which access to sexual release, stimulation, or a part of someone's body is intentionally restricted for an agreed period. It may be part of teasing, ritual, self-discipline, a power-CheatingCheating is a breach of the expectations, agreements, or boundaries that people in a relationship have made with one another. What counts as cheating is not identical in every relationship: it may involve sexual contact,Check-InA brief, intentional moment during or after a lifestyle experience in which partners pause to confirm that everyone is comfortable, enjoying themselves, and still consenting to continue. Check-ins can be verbal or non-ve Closed Door / Closed Swinging**Closed door swinging**, sometimes called **closed door**, describes an arrangement in which partners agree to explore separately or privately rather than watch one another during an encounter. It is one of several ways Closet SwingerCloset swinger is an informal term for someone who participates in swinging or is exploring it while choosing not to share that part of their life broadly. The choice may reflect privacy, work, family, safety, culture, o Clothing OptionalClothing optional means that guests at a venue or event are free to be nude or clothed as they choose, without any pressure or requirement either way. It is a common feature of lifestyle resorts, pool parties, and some c Clothing-Optional ResortA clothing-optional resort is a property where guests may choose to be nude in designated areas without it being required or mandatory. The emphasis is on personal choice — guests who prefer to remain clothed are equally CMNF**CMNF** means “clothed male, naked female.” It is shorthand sometimes used in adult or kink settings for a particular visual contrast or agreed scene dynamic. It does not determine anyone’s agency, availability, or cons Cock CageA **cock cage** is a wearable device associated with consensual [chastity](/explore/glossary/chastity) practice that limits or controls access to a penis. It may be used for personal exploration or within an agreed power Cock RingA **cock ring** is a wearable adult accessory that some people use around the penis or testicles for sensation, appearance, or personal preference. Product styles and reasons for use vary widely. Mentioning or owning one Collar / CollaringA collar is a symbolic object, often worn around the neck, that represents a commitment or "ownership" within a [Dom/Sub](/explore/glossary/dom-sub) relationship. Collaring is the formal act or ceremony of presenting thi CommunicationIn lifestyle and [ethical non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/ethical-non-monogamy) contexts, communication refers to the ongoing, honest, and open exchange of feelings, boundaries, desires, and concerns between partners. St CompersionCompersion is the feeling of joy or happiness one experiences when a partner is happy or fulfilled in their connections with others. Often described as the opposite of jealousy, compersion is a valued emotional state in Consensual Non-ConsentConsensual Non-Consent, often shortened to CNC, is an adult kink framework in which people deliberately roleplay a power dynamic that may appear non-consensual while remaining grounded in explicit, prior [consent](/explo Consensual Non-MonogamyConsensual non-monogamy (CNM) is an umbrella term for any relationship structure in which all partners openly and knowingly agree to have multiple romantic or sexual connections. It includes swinging, [polyamory](/explor ConsentConsent is the voluntary, enthusiastic, and ongoing agreement between all parties to participate in any activity. In the lifestyle community, consent is not a one-time checkbox — it is a continuous, active conversation t Consent at ResortsConsent at resorts refers to the practice of obtaining clear, enthusiastic, and freely given agreement before any physical or intimate interaction at a lifestyle resort or cruise. Consent must be ongoing, can be withdraw Consent CultureConsent culture refers to a social environment in which enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing consent is the expected norm for all sexual and intimate interactions. In a consent culture, asking for consent is seen as respe CougarCougar is an informal term sometimes used for an older woman who dates or is attracted to younger adult partners. Some people use it playfully or as a self-chosen label, while others find that it carries stereotypes abou Couple PrivilegeThe advantages and protections that an established couple has in polyamorous or lifestyle relationships compared to single people or newer partners. Couple privilege can manifest as the ability to make unilateral rules t Creampie**Creampie** is explicit slang for ejaculation inside a partner during penetrative sex. The word is sometimes used casually, but it should never stand in for a conversation about sexual fluids, boundaries, or a specific Cross Swords / Crossing Swords**Cross swords**, also called **crossing swords**, is informal adult slang for a sexual activity involving genital contact between male partners. Usage can vary between communities and individuals, so the phrase is not a Cross-Dresser / Cross-DressingCross-dresser is a term for a person who wears clothing, presentation, or styles traditionally associated with another gender. Cross-dressing can be part of personal expression, performance, comfort, exploration, or inti CruisingCruising is a context-dependent term for seeking or being open to meeting other adults for social or sexual connection. Its meaning can vary between venues, online spaces, and communities, so the word alone does not iden CuckoldIn consensual adult contexts, a cuckold is a man who derives erotic pleasure from his partner having sexual experiences with other men, often with an element of humiliation or submission as part of the dynamic. All activ Cuckoldress**Cuckoldress** is a less-common adult-lifestyle label that some people use for a woman with an active, central role in a consensual cuckolding or partner-sharing dynamic. Usage is not uniform: it can overlap with, or be Cuffs**Cuffs** are restraint items made to be worn on wrists, ankles, or other agreed areas. In consensual [bondage](/explore/glossary/bondage) or BDSM play, they can be symbolic, decorative, or part of a negotiated scene. Th Cum**Cum** is an informal word commonly used for semen or ejaculation. People may use clinical, casual, or no shorthand at all; no wording should be treated as consent for any activity involving sexual fluids. For a specifi Cunnilingus**Cunnilingus** is oral sex involving the vulva. Like any intimate activity, it is a personal preference rather than a default expectation, and it should be discussed in the language that feels comfortable to the people DebriefA conversation between partners after a lifestyle experience in which they share their feelings, discuss what went well, address any concerns, and check in on each other's emotional state. A debrief is a form of [afterca DemisexualDemisexual is a term used by some people who tend to experience sexual attraction only after an emotional bond or meaningful connection has formed. It sits within the broader asexual spectrum for many, though individuals DildoA **dildo** is an adult sex toy designed for insertion or external stimulation. Designs and materials vary, and owning or mentioning one does not communicate experience, interest, or willingness to use it with another pe DisciplinarianA disciplinarian is a person who takes on an agreed role involving structure, correction, accountability, or rules within a consensual power dynamic. The role can be serious, playful, symbolic, or simply a way of organiz DisciplineIn a consensual kink or power-exchange context, discipline refers to an agreed approach to rules, accountability, correction, or structure. It can be emotional, practical, ritualized, or symbolic. It does not mean one pe DiscretionDiscretion in the lifestyle community refers to the practice of protecting the privacy and identity of fellow community members. It means not sharing information about who you have seen at a lifestyle event, not discussi DocileDocile is a word some people use to describe a gentle, receptive, or compliant style within a consensual power dynamic. It may describe a temporary mood, a preferred role, or the way someone likes to be seen by a partner Dom/SubDom/Sub (Dominant/Submissive) describes a consensual power dynamic in which one person takes a dominant role and the other takes a submissive role. The dominant partner leads, directs, or controls aspects of the encounte Domestic Training**Domestic training** is a consensual power-exchange practice that brings household routines, service, or domestic roles into an agreed dynamic. It can range from symbolic rituals to clearly defined responsibilities. It Don't Ask Don't TellDon't Ask Don't Tell (DADT) is an arrangement in open or non-monogamous relationships where partners agree not to share details about their outside connections with each other. Each person is free to pursue other relatio Double Anal Penetration / DAP**Double anal penetration**, often shortened to **DAP**, is explicit adult terminology for an arrangement involving two simultaneous forms of anal penetration. It is distinct from a general interest in anal play, and the Double Penetration / DP**Double penetration**, or **DP**, is an umbrella term for an adult scene involving two simultaneous forms of penetration. The abbreviation does not explain the configuration, the people involved, or what anyone has agre Double Vaginal Penetration / DVP**Double vaginal penetration**, sometimes called **DVP**, is explicit adult terminology for two simultaneous forms of vaginal penetration. It is more specific than the broader term double penetration and requires a detai Drag Queen / Drag KingDrag queen and drag king are terms for performers who use costume, makeup, movement, character, and often exaggerated gender expression as part of an artistic performance. A drag queen commonly performs femininity, while Dress CodeA dress code at a lifestyle event or club specifies the attire expected or required of guests. Dress codes vary widely — from elegant formal wear to themed costumes to lingerie — and are typically designed to create a sp DropA physiological and emotional state that can occur after an intense experience, characterised by feelings of sadness, anxiety, vulnerability, or emotional flatness. Drop is caused by the sudden decline in adrenaline and DTF**DTF** is shorthand for “down to fuck.” In dating or lifestyle conversations, people may use it to signal sexual openness or a preference for being direct about their interest. In a [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging DungeonA dungeon is a dedicated space for consensual BDSM activity, education, or social events. It may be a private room, a members-only venue area, or a larger event space. The word describes the setting, not an assumption th Dungeon MasterDungeon Master is a title that may be used differently from one community or venue to another. In some settings, it refers to a host, organizer, educator, or experienced person associated with a BDSM space. In others, it Dungeon MonitorA trained volunteer or staff member at a lifestyle or [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) event who monitors play areas to ensure that all activity is consensual, safe, and within the venue's rules. Dungeon monitors are a key Edge PlayEdge play is a broad term for consensual kink activities that participants consider especially intense, emotionally charged, or physically risky. What feels like edge play differs from person to person. The term does not EdgingEdging is the consensual practice of bringing someone close to orgasm and then deliberately slowing, stopping, or changing stimulation before climax. People may experience it alone or with a partner, and it can be playfu Electric PlayElectric play is a broad term for consensual adult kink activities involving electrical sensation. It falls within the wider world of [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm), but it carries meaningful physical risks and should ne ElectrosexElectrosex is a label sometimes used for adult erotic contexts involving electrical stimulation. Communities do not always use the term in exactly the same way, and it may overlap with the broader category of electric pl Enthusiastic ConsentA standard of consent that requires not just the absence of a no, but the presence of an active, willing, and genuine yes. Enthusiastic consent means all parties are genuinely eager to participate, not merely tolerating Erectile Dysfunction (ED)Erectile Dysfunction, often called ED, describes ongoing difficulty getting or keeping an erection firm enough for sexual activity. It is common and can be connected to many factors, including stress, fatigue, medication Ethical Non-MonogamyEthical non-monogamy (ENM) is a broad term for any relationship structure that involves more than two people, conducted with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It emphasises the ethical dimension — hone ExhibitionismExhibitionism in the lifestyle context refers to the consensual enjoyment of being watched by others during sexual activity. Like [voyeurism](/explore/glossary/voyeurism), lifestyle exhibitionism is always consensual — a ExhibitionistIn consensual lifestyle contexts, an exhibitionist is someone who derives pleasure from being watched by others during sexual activity, with the full knowledge and consent of all parties. [Exhibitionism](/explore/glossar Face SlappingFace slapping is a form of [impact play](/explore/glossary/impact-play) that specifically involves the face. Some adults may include it in an agreed scene, while many do not. It carries a real possibility of injury and s Fellatio**Fellatio** is oral sex involving a penis. It is a specific term, not an expectation or a signal that someone enjoys, offers, or wants any particular activity. **Why This Term Matters** Specific terms work best when the FeminizationFeminization is a term some adults use for consensual exploration of feminine presentation, expression, roleplay, or imagery. Its meaning can vary widely: for one person it may be part of a scene, while for another it ma FetishA fetish is a strong sexual attraction or fixation on a specific object, body part, material, or situation. Fetishes are extremely common and span an enormous range — from feet and leather to role-playing scenarios and s FFM / FMF**FFM** and **FMF** are shorthand labels often used for a three-person dynamic involving two women and one man. Different people use the order of the letters differently, so the letters alone do not explain everyone’s ro FlagellationFlagellation is a form of consensual [impact play](/explore/glossary/impact-play) involving flexible implements. Some people use the word for a particular style of scene; others use it more generally for an interest in s Flogger / FloggingA flogger is a multi-tailed implement that may be used in consensual [impact play](/explore/glossary/impact-play). Flogging refers to the broader practice or scene involving that kind of implement. Neither word tells som Fluid BondingFluid bonding is the conscious decision by two or more partners to have unprotected sexual contact, typically after both have been tested for STIs and have agreed to use protection with all other partners. It is a signif ForeplayForeplay is a broad term for the conversation, touch, attention, or shared anticipation that can take place before or around intimacy. What counts as foreplay differs widely between people and may include affection, flir Friend With BenefitsFriend with benefits, often shortened to FWB, describes a friendship that also includes a mutually agreed intimate or sexual connection. The phrase does not prescribe a single structure: some friends see each other occas GagGag is a broad term for an item or arrangement intended to limit speech or alter how someone sounds during an agreed BDSM scene. A [Ball Gag](/explore/glossary/ball-gag) is one specific kind of gag, not a synonym for eve Gangbang**Gangbang** is adult-scene language for a group sexual encounter centred on one participant with multiple others. The word can cover many arrangements, so it does not identify who is involved, what is wanted, or whether GayGay is an orientation commonly used by people who experience attraction primarily to people of the same gender. It is often used by men, and some women and non-binary people also use the term when it feels right for them GhostingAbruptly ending all communication with someone without explanation. In the lifestyle community, ghosting is considered poor etiquette, particularly after an in-person meeting or encounter, as it leaves the other party wi GILF**GILF** is adult-dating slang that refers to attraction to an older adult who is a grandparent. It can be used as a self-chosen label by some people, but it can also feel objectifying or unwelcome when assigned to someo GloryholeA **gloryhole** is an opening or partition used in some adult venues or private settings to separate participants during a sexual interaction. The physical arrangement does not remove the need for active [consent](/explo Gokkun**Gokkun** is explicit adult slang for a group sexual practice involving semen. It is a specialized term with a potentially intense meaning, so it should never be introduced as a casual expectation or used without a spec Group PlaySexual activity involving three or more people simultaneously. Group play can take many forms, from a [threesome](/explore/glossary/threesome) to larger gatherings, and can occur in private settings or at lifestyle clubs Hall PassPermission granted by one partner to the other to engage in a sexual encounter with another person, typically on a specific occasion or within specific parameters. A hall pass is a one-time or limited permission rather t HandlerHandler is a role title whose meaning depends on the people and setting using it. Within [pet play](/explore/glossary/pet-play), it may describe a person who takes a guiding, caring, or directing role in a negotiated dyn Hard LimitA hard limit is an absolute boundary — something a person will never do under any circumstances. Hard limits are non-negotiable and must be respected without question. In the lifestyle and BDSM communities, hard limits a Hardcore**Hardcore** is a subjective word sometimes used to describe adult content or activities that a person considers more intense or explicit. Because standards vary widely, it is not a useful substitute for a specific conve HedonistA hedonist is a person who places value on pleasure, enjoyment, or sensory experience. In an adult-community context, it may be used as a personal description or an event theme, rather than as a statement about a person’HeteroflexibleHeteroflexible is a term some people use when they identify as mostly heterosexual while acknowledging occasional attraction, interest, or openness beyond that pattern. Its meaning is personal and can differ from one per HeterosexualHeterosexual is an orientation describing attraction primarily to people of a different gender. It is sometimes shortened to straight, although people choose the words that best fit their identity and experience. Orienta Hierarchical PolyamoryA form of [polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory) in which relationships are explicitly ranked, with one partnership (usually called the primary relationship) taking precedence over others in terms of time, resources, d HogtieHogtie is a specific form of [bondage](/explore/glossary/bondage) in which restraints applied to different limbs are connected so that movement is substantially limited. It is more specific than the general word “restrai HomosexualHomosexual is a formal term for attraction to people of the same gender. It appears in clinical, legal, and historical writing, although many people prefer the more specific everyday labels gay or lesbian when describing Horny**Horny** is casual language for feeling sexually aroused or interested in intimacy. It describes a momentary feeling, not a promise, invitation, relationship status, or agreement with anyone else. **Why This Term Matter Hot Husbandry**Hot husbandry** is a less common lifestyle phrase sometimes used for a consensual dynamic centred on a husband receiving attention from others with a partner’s knowledge or involvement. Usage varies, so it should not b Hotel TakeoverA hotel takeover is an event format in which an organizer reserves a substantial portion, or occasionally all, of a hotel for a particular group or gathering. It creates a shared event hub, but the phrase does not prescr HotwifeA hotwife is a married or partnered woman whose partner encourages and takes pleasure in her having sexual experiences with other men. The hotwife dynamic is consensual and typically involves the partner being aware of a House RulesHouse rules are the specific policies and expectations set by a [lifestyle club](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-club), [play party](/explore/glossary/play-party) host, or event organiser. House rules typically cover topics HumiliationHumiliation, in a consensual kink context, refers to an agreed psychological or roleplay element that may draw on embarrassment, status, vulnerability, or imagined loss of dignity. It is not the same as degrading someone Ice PlayIce play is a form of consensual [sensation play](/explore/glossary/sensation-play) that centers on cold sensation. It may be part of a broader scene or simply an exploration of contrast and anticipation. People can expe ImmobilizationImmobilization describes a consensual kink situation in which a person’s movement is substantially limited. It can be discussed as a more intense end of the broader [restraint](/explore/glossary/restraint) spectrum, but Impact PlayImpact play is a form of [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) or [kink](/explore/glossary/kink) that involves striking the body to create physical sensations, ranging from stinging to thudding. This practice typically utilizes Informed ConsentConsent that is given with full knowledge of what is being agreed to, including any relevant risks, expectations, and boundaries. Informed consent requires that all parties have accurate information before agreeing to pa IRLIRL means “in real life.” People use it to distinguish an in-person interaction from conversation, profiles, or connections that exist only online. It may appear in event listings, messages, or community posts. Moving an ISOISO means “in search of.” It is often used in listings, messages, or event posts to show that someone is looking for a person, activity, item, or kind of connection. The shorthand describes a search, not a promise of mut JealousyJealousy is a natural emotional response that can arise in any relationship, including those in the lifestyle and [ethical non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/ethical-non-monogamy) communities. In these contexts, jealousy is Jealousy ManagementThe practice of acknowledging, understanding, and working through feelings of jealousy in a consensually non-monogamous relationship. Jealousy management involves honest communication, self-reflection, and developing str KinkKink is a broad term for sexual interests, activities, or fantasies that fall outside of conventional sexual norms. Kink encompasses a wide spectrum — from mild role-playing and light bondage to more intense [BDSM](/expl Kitchen Table PolyamoryA style of [polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory) in which all partners and metamours are comfortable enough with each other to sit around the kitchen table together — sharing meals, socialising, and being genuinely in LeatherLeather is a broad cultural and community term used by some people connected to [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm), kink, and related traditions. It can describe a community, an identity, an aesthetic, a history, or a person LesbianLesbian is an orientation commonly used by women who experience attraction primarily to women. The term can describe identity, community, and relationships, while each person decides whether it is the language that fits LifestyleIn the context of adult social communities, 'the lifestyle' is a widely used, discreet term that refers to the [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging) or [consensual non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/consensual-non-monogamy Lifestyle AnniversaryThe anniversary of a couple's first lifestyle experience or their entry into the lifestyle community. Some lifestyle couples celebrate this date as a milestone in their relationship journey.Lifestyle BreakA deliberate pause from lifestyle activities, taken to rest, reconnect with a primary partner, process experiences, or address relationship issues. A lifestyle break is a healthy and common practice among long-term lifes Lifestyle BurnoutA state of emotional exhaustion, disillusionment, or reduced enthusiasm for lifestyle participation, often resulting from overextension, unresolved relationship issues, or the cumulative emotional demands of managing mul Lifestyle ClubA lifestyle club is a private venue where consenting adults who participate in the [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging) or non-monogamy lifestyle gather to socialise, meet other like-minded couples and individuals, and Lifestyle CommunityThe broader network of individuals, couples, and groups who participate in [consensual non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/consensual-non-monogamy), swinging, [polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory), or related relationship Lifestyle Community AbroadThe lifestyle community abroad refers to the international network of open-minded adults who participate in lifestyle activities, events, and social gatherings outside of their home country. Major [lifestyle travel](/exp Lifestyle Consent ViolationAny action taken without the informed, [enthusiastic consent](/explore/glossary/enthusiastic-consent) of all parties involved. In the lifestyle community, consent violations are taken extremely seriously and can result i Lifestyle Couple GoalsThe shared intentions, aspirations, and boundaries that a couple establishes for their lifestyle participation. Lifestyle couple goals might include the type of experiences they want to have, the community they want to b Lifestyle CruiseA chartered or partially chartered cruise ship that caters exclusively or primarily to lifestyle participants. Lifestyle cruises combine a traditional cruise holiday with [lifestyle-friendly](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-Lifestyle CuriousA lifestyle curious person is someone who is interested in exploring the lifestyle — swinging, open relationships, or [ethical non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/ethical-non-monogamy) — but has not yet participated. Being l Lifestyle DatingThe process of meeting and connecting with other lifestyle participants through dedicated platforms, apps, clubs, or community events. Lifestyle dating differs from mainstream dating in that all parties are aware of and Lifestyle EtiquetteLifestyle etiquette refers to the unwritten but widely understood code of conduct that governs behaviour within the [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging) and non-monogamy community. It encompasses everything from how to Lifestyle FriendlyA descriptor for venues, accommodations, businesses, or communities that are welcoming and accommodating to lifestyle participants without judgment or restriction. [Lifestyle-friendly](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-friendl Lifestyle MentorAn experienced lifestyle participant who offers guidance, advice, and support to newcomers. A lifestyle mentor shares their knowledge of community norms, etiquette, and best practices to help newer couples or individuals Lifestyle NetworkThe personal connections, friendships, and acquaintances that a lifestyle participant builds within the community over time. A strong lifestyle network provides social opportunities, trusted referrals, and a sense of bel Lifestyle Newbie MistakesCommon errors made by newcomers to the lifestyle, including rushing into experiences before both partners are ready, failing to establish clear boundaries in advance, misrepresenting themselves on profiles, or not follow Lifestyle PartyA private social gathering organised for lifestyle participants, typically hosted at a private residence or rented venue. Lifestyle parties are usually smaller and more intimate than club events and often have a specific Lifestyle PositiveAn attitude or perspective that views [consensual non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/consensual-non-monogamy) and lifestyle participation as valid, healthy, and worthy of respect — free from stigma, shame, or judgment. Bein Lifestyle ProfileA lifestyle profile is an online profile created by a couple or individual on a lifestyle-oriented platform or app. It typically includes photos, a description of the couple's interests and preferences, and information a Lifestyle ResortA lifestyle resort is a hotel or resort property that caters specifically to adults in the [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging) and lifestyle community. These resorts offer clothing-optional areas, adult entertainment,Lifestyle RulesThe personal agreements and boundaries that a couple or individual establishes for their lifestyle participation. Lifestyle rules define what is and is not acceptable, who can engage with whom, and how situations are han Lifestyle ScreeningThe process of evaluating potential lifestyle partners before meeting in person. Lifestyle screening typically involves reviewing profiles, exchanging messages, video chatting, and checking references within the communit Lifestyle TherapistA therapist or counsellor who is knowledgeable about and non-judgmental toward consensual non-monogamy, swinging, [polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory), and other lifestyle relationship structures. A lifestyle-affirmi Lifestyle TravelLifestyle travel refers to travel specifically planned around the swinging and lifestyle community — visiting [lifestyle-friendly](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-friendly) resorts, attending destination events, or exploring Lifestyle Travel Safety[Lifestyle travel](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-travel) safety encompasses the practices, precautions, and awareness that keep lifestyle travellers physically safe, sexually healthy, and personally secure while attending Lifestyle VacationA holiday specifically planned around lifestyle participation, typically involving a stay at a [lifestyle resort](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-resort), attendance at a lifestyle event, or travel to a destination with a st Lifestyle-FriendlyLifestyle-friendly refers to venues, resorts, destinations, or service providers that are welcoming, accepting, and accommodating to members of the swinging and lifestyle community. A lifestyle-friendly establishment doe LimerenceAn involuntary state of intense romantic obsession with another person, characterised by intrusive thoughts, a desperate need for reciprocation, and extreme emotional highs and lows depending on the perceived level of in LoverLover is a personal, flexible term for someone with whom a person shares a romantic, intimate, or sexual connection. Some people use it affectionately for a long-standing partner; others use it for a connection that does LTRLTR is shorthand for “long-term relationship.” It usually refers to a relationship that has an established history and an ongoing place in the people’s lives, but it does not by itself describe whether that relationship Manual Stimulation**Manual stimulation** refers to sexual touch using hands or fingers. It is a broad description rather than a detailed plan, and comfort with one kind of touch never establishes comfort with another. **Why This Term Matt Masochism / MasochistMasochism refers to an interest in receiving intensity, controlled discomfort, or pain within a consensual [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) context. A masochist is someone who may use that label for themselves. The term is MasterMaster is a title that some adults choose within a negotiated [Dom/Sub](/explore/glossary/dom-sub) or power-exchange dynamic. The title can carry personal meaning, but it does not establish authority over anyone outside MasturbationMasturbation is self-directed sexual exploration or stimulation. Some adults include it in their personal sexual wellbeing, while others do not; there is no single pattern that is right for everyone. Within a relationshi Medical RoleplayMedical roleplay is an adult fantasy in which people consensually take on healthcare-related roles or use a clinical setting as part of a scene. It is a form of [roleplay](/explore/glossary/roleplay), not medical care, d Meet for Pleasure**Meet for pleasure** is a profile or messaging phrase that may signal interest in a casual adult connection. The wording is intentionally broad, so it does not establish timing, activities, privacy expectations, or whet Meeting Couples at ResortsMeeting couples at resorts refers to the social practice of connecting with other like-minded couples and individuals at lifestyle resorts and cruises. It involves understanding where and how to meet people, reading soci Ménage à Trois**Ménage à trois** is a French phrase commonly used to describe an intimate arrangement involving three people. In lifestyle conversation, it may refer to a one-time encounter, a fantasy, or a broader relationship dynami MetamourA metamour is a partner's partner — someone with whom you share a connection through your mutual partner, but with whom you do not have a direct romantic or sexual relationship yourself. The term is commonly used in poly MFM / MMF**MFM** and **MMF** are shorthand labels often used for a three-person dynamic involving two men and one woman. The letters can help people describe a broad arrangement, but they do not define orientation, relationship s MistressMistress can have different meanings depending on context. In consensual kink or power-exchange spaces, it may be a self-chosen title for a woman who takes a dominant role. In other contexts, the word has historically be Mono PolyMono poly, or mono/poly, describes a relationship in which one person identifies as monogamous and another identifies as polyamorous. The term describes a difference in relationship orientation or preference; it does not MonogamishA term coined by sex columnist Dan Savage to describe relationships that are primarily monogamous but allow for occasional, agreed-upon outside sexual connections. Monogamish relationships sit between strict monogamy and Moresome**Moresome** is informal umbrella language for a consensual intimate situation involving more than two adults. It is broader than a [threesome](/explore/glossary/threesome) and does not identify a relationship structure,MunchAn informal social gathering, typically at a restaurant or café, for people interested in the lifestyle, [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm), or [kink](/explore/glossary/kink) communities. Munches are completely non-sexual an NaturismNaturism, also known as nudism, is a philosophy and lifestyle that advocates for social nudity in a non-sexual context. Naturists believe that nudity promotes body acceptance, equality, and a connection with nature. Whil NegotiationIn the lifestyle and BDSM communities, negotiation refers to the explicit conversation that happens before any sexual or play encounter. Negotiation covers what activities are welcome, what is off-limits, safe words, hea Nesting PartnerA nesting partner is a partner with whom one shares a home or primary living space. The term is commonly used in polyamorous communities to distinguish between a live-in partner and other partners who do not share the sa New Relationship EnergyThe intense excitement, infatuation, and heightened emotional state that characterises the early stages of a new romantic or sexual connection. Often abbreviated as NRE, this state can temporarily affect judgment and pri NewbieA newbie — also sometimes called a newcomer or first-timer — is someone who is new to the lifestyle community. The term is used affectionately and without judgment. Newbies may be couples who are attending their first li Newbie NightA [newbie](/explore/glossary/newbie) night is an event specifically designed for people who are new to the lifestyle. These events typically feature a more relaxed atmosphere, educational components, introductions to the Nipple Clamps**Nipple clamps** are adult accessories that apply pressure to the nipples as part of consensual sensation play. Designs and intensity can vary, and no one’s response should be assumed from the item’s name. In a BDSM set Nipple Rings**Nipple rings** are body jewellery worn through or around the nipple area. They may be part of personal style, body modification, or sensory preference, but their presence does not communicate an invitation or a plan. *No Means NoNo means no is a foundational principle in lifestyle communities stating that any refusal — whether verbal or non-verbal — must be respected immediately and without question. It applies to every person in every situation NSANSA is shorthand for “no strings attached.” People may use it to signal that they are not seeking a romantic commitment or that they prefer an encounter without expectations of an ongoing relationship. The phrase does no Off-PremiseAn off-premise lifestyle event or venue is a social gathering where sexual activity does not take place on-site. Couples and individuals meet, socialise, and connect at the event, but any further activity happens private Old Relationship Energy (ORE)Old Relationship Energy (ORE) refers to the state of deep intimacy, comfort, and emotional stability that develops in long-term partnerships after the initial phase of [New Relationship Energy](/explore/glossary/new-rela On-PremiseAn on-premise lifestyle venue is a club or event space where sexual activity is permitted to take place on-site, in designated areas. These venues provide private or semi-private spaces specifically for this purpose, alo Online Lifestyle ProfileA personal or couple's profile on a [lifestyle dating](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-dating) platform or community website, used to introduce themselves to other lifestyle participants, describe what they are looking for, Open Door Swinging**Open door swinging** is a term some couples use for a transparent arrangement in which partners prefer awareness, presence, observation, or shared information while exploring with others. It is often discussed as a con Open RelationshipAn open relationship is a form of [consensual non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/consensual-non-monogamy) in which partners in a committed relationship mutually agree to pursue romantic or sexual connections with other peop OrgasmOrgasm is an experience of sexual climax that can involve physical sensations, emotional release, both, or neither in a particular encounter. People’s experiences vary in intensity, timing, and meaning. It is not a relia Orgasm Control / Denial**Orgasm control** or **orgasm denial** is a consensual practice in which a person chooses to delay, structure, or restrict orgasm for an agreed period. It may be part of personal exploration or a power exchange. It is r OrgyAn **orgy** is a broad term for a group sexual gathering or encounter involving multiple people. It does not define the activities, participation level, or relationship between attendees; each person decides what, if any OTKOTK, short for “over the knee,” describes a consensual position sometimes used in a playful, disciplinary, or impact-focused scene. The phrase refers to the arrangement of people, not to a required activity, level of int OutingThe act of revealing someone's lifestyle participation, sexual orientation, or relationship structure to people outside the community without their consent. Outing is a serious violation of privacy and trust in the lifes Packing for Lifestyle TravelPacking for [lifestyle travel](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-travel) involves preparing clothing and essentials specifically for the unique requirements of lifestyle resorts and cruises, including multiple themed evening o PaddlingPaddling is a form of consensual impact play that uses a paddle or similarly shaped implement to create sensation. It can be part of a playful, ritualized, or power-exchange scene, but its meaning and intensity are perso Parallel PolyamoryA style of [polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory) in which partners maintain largely separate lives and do not necessarily meet or socialise with each other's other partners. Each relationship exists independently with Party HouseParty house is a casual term for a private residence used to host social gatherings or organized events. In adult-community settings, the label does not tell guests what will happen there, who is welcome, or what partici Pearl Necklace**Pearl necklace** is explicit adult slang for ejaculation onto a partner’s neck or chest. It is a figurative phrase, not a neutral description, and should not be used to assume comfort with any particular activity. **Wh Pegging**Pegging** usually refers to an adult sexual practice in which a person uses a strap-on to penetrate a partner anally. It is a specific activity, not a statement about anyone’s gender, orientation, confidence, or relati Pet PlayPet play is an adult consensual roleplay dynamic in which one or more people explore animal-inspired roles, behavior, care, or training themes. It may be lighthearted, affectionate, ceremonial, or part of a broader power Physical HealthPhysical health refers to the condition and care of the body, including sleep, movement, nutrition, medication needs, chronic conditions, sexual wellbeing, and access to appropriate healthcare. In intimate or social sett PineappleThe pineapple is a widely recognised symbol in the lifestyle community, used to discreetly signal openness to the [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging) lifestyle. Displaying a pineapple — on a front porch, a car, a bag,Play AreaA play area is a designated space within a [lifestyle club](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-club) or [on-premise](/explore/glossary/on-premise) venue where sexual activity is permitted. Play areas are typically separate from Play PartnerPlay partner is a broad term for someone with whom a person shares agreed adult play or intimate exploration. It may describe a one-time connection, an occasional connection, or a recurring arrangement, and it does not a Play PartyA play party is a private or semi-private event where consenting adults gather to socialise and engage in sexual activity. Play parties range from small intimate gatherings hosted in private homes to larger events at lif PolyamoryPolyamory is the practice of maintaining multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Unlike [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging), which is primarily foc PolyculeThe network of people connected through polyamorous relationships. A polycule includes all partners, metamours, and their connections — the full web of relationships that forms around a polyamorous individual or group.PolyfidelityPolyfidelity is a form of polyamory in which a group of partners are committed exclusively to each other and do not seek additional partners outside the group. It is sometimes described as a closed polyamorous relationsh Power Exchange**Power exchange** describes an agreed dynamic in which people intentionally share, give, or receive authority within defined limits. It may be part of [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm), but it can look different from one r PrimalPrimal is a term some adults use for a consensual kink style that emphasizes instinct, intensity, movement, sound, or a less formal sense of interaction. What feels “primal” is highly individual: for one person it may be PrivacyPrivacy in the lifestyle community refers to the right of every individual to control who knows about their lifestyle activities. Respecting privacy means never sharing information about others' lifestyle participation w QuadA quad is a romantic or sexual relationship involving four people. While a [triad](/explore/glossary/triad) involves three partners, a quad typically forms when two established couples become romantically linked or when Queef / Queefing**Queefing** is the release of trapped air from the vagina, sometimes creating a sound during movement or intimacy. It is a common bodily occurrence and is not a measure of attraction, ability, or anyone’s experience. **Red FlagsWarning signs in a person's behaviour, communication, or attitude that suggest they may not respect boundaries, consent, or community norms. Recognising red flags helps lifestyle participants protect themselves and make Relationship AgreementA relationship agreement is a set of explicitly discussed and agreed-upon rules, boundaries, and expectations between partners in an open or non-monogamous relationship. Relationship agreements can cover anything from wh Relationship AnarchyRelationship anarchy is a philosophy and practice that rejects predefined rules or hierarchies in relationships. Relationship anarchists believe that each connection should be defined by the people involved, without soci Relationship EscalatorThe conventional societal expectation that romantic relationships should follow a predictable progression: dating, exclusivity, cohabitation, marriage, and children. The relationship escalator is often questioned in poly Resort EtiquetteResort etiquette refers to the unwritten social rules and expected behaviours that govern interactions at lifestyle resorts and cruises. It encompasses consent practices, approaching other couples, handling rejection, po RestraintRestraint is the consensual limiting of someone’s movement within a scene. It can be physical, symbolic, temporary, or part of a power dynamic. It is broader than any one material or method, and the important question is RiggerA rigger is a person who creates or manages consensual rope or restraint scenes. The word is often used in rope-bondage communities, where the rigger may focus on aesthetics, sensation, connection, or a negotiated power Risk Aware Sex**Risk aware sex** is informal language for approaching sexual-health decisions by discussing relevant risks, personal boundaries, and the information each adult considers important before intimacy. It is not a clinical Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) is a philosophical and safety framework within [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) that prioritizes individual autonomy and [informed consent](/explore/glossary/informed-consent). It serves a Riviera MayaThe Riviera Maya is a stretch of Caribbean coastline in the Mexican state of Quintana Roo, running south from Cancun through Playa del Carmen to Tulum. It is one of the most popular [lifestyle travel](/explore/glossary/l RoleplayRoleplay is a consensual activity in which adults take on imagined characters, situations, or relationship dynamics for connection, creativity, exploration, or intimacy. It can be light and humorous, emotionally meaningf Rope BunnyRope bunny is a community term for a person who enjoys being tied or participating on the receiving side of a consensual rope scene. Some people embrace the term; others prefer “rope bottom,” “model,” or no label at all.Sadism / SadistIn a consensual BDSM context, sadism refers to finding enjoyment in giving intense sensation, control, or a negotiated emotional experience; a sadist is a person who enjoys that role. The term does not describe non-conse Safe WordA safe word is a pre-agreed word or signal used to immediately pause or stop an activity during an intimate encounter. Safe words give all participants a clear, unambiguous way to communicate that they need to slow down Safer SexSexual practices that reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancy. In the lifestyle community, safer sex typically includes consistent condom use, regular STI testing, and open comm Saint Andrew's CrossA Saint Andrew’s Cross is an X-shaped piece of equipment sometimes found in BDSM spaces. It may be used as a visual focal point, for supported positioning, or as part of a consensual restraint or impact scene. Its presen Same RoomSame-room play refers to a lifestyle arrangement in which two or more couples engage in sexual activity in the same shared space, while each couple remains primarily focused on their own partner. It differs from a [full SapiosexualSapiosexual is a term some people use to describe a strong attraction to intelligence, curiosity, insight, or the way another person thinks. People may use it as a personal shorthand for what draws them in, rather than a SceneIn [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) and [kink](/explore/glossary/kink) communities, a scene refers to a defined period of consensual play between participants. A scene has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and is typicall Sensation PlaySensation play is a broad term for consensually exploring different physical or sensory experiences, such as temperature, texture, pressure, sound, or anticipation. It is not defined by one specific tool or intensity. Wh Separate RoomSeparate room play refers to an arrangement at a lifestyle event or club where couples engage with other partners in private or semi-private spaces away from each other. Unlike same-room play, partners are not in visual Sex ToysSex toys are objects designed for adult sexual pleasure or sensation. They may be used alone or with a partner, and they range widely in purpose, material, and intensity. A toy is an optional tool rather than a standard Sexual HealthSexual health is the physical, emotional, and relational wellbeing connected to sexuality and intimacy. It includes accurate information, bodily autonomy, the ability to make informed choices, access to healthcare, and r ShibariShibari is a Japanese-influenced rope art and bondage practice that can emphasize connection, form, visual composition, sensation, or a shared ritual. The word is sometimes used broadly for artistic rope bondage, though SlaveWithin some adult consensual BDSM relationships, slave is a role term for a person who chooses an especially structured or service-oriented form of submission. It can carry strong emotional and historical weight, so it s Snowballing**Snowballing** is explicit adult slang for transferring semen from one person’s mouth to another during intimacy. The term is precise enough to require a direct conversation, and it should never be inferred from a gener Soft LaunchA gradual, low-pressure introduction to lifestyle activities, typically starting with social events and observation before engaging in any physical activity. A soft launch allows newcomers to experience the community at Soft LimitA soft limit is a boundary that a person is cautious or hesitant about but may be willing to explore under the right circumstances, with the right partner, and with sufficient trust and communication. Unlike a [hard limi Solo PolyamoryA form of [polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory) in which a person maintains multiple loving relationships while prioritising their own independence and autonomy. Solo polyamorists typically do not seek a primary partn SpankingSpanking is a form of consensual impact play that may be playful, erotic, disciplinary, comforting, or part of a power exchange, depending on the people involved. The same word can describe very different experiences, so Spitroasting**Spitroasting** is explicit group-scene slang for a configuration involving one person and partners positioned at opposite ends. The term does not define the details, participant roles, or agreements, so specific [bound Squirting**Squirting** is a term some adults use for a visible fluid release that can occur during arousal or orgasm. Bodies vary widely, and the experience is not universal, required, or a reliable sign of pleasure. **Why This T SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual)SSC, an acronym for Safe, Sane, and Consensual, is a foundational ethical framework within [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) and kink communities used to establish the boundaries of acceptable play. It mandates that all act Stag and VixenA stag and vixen dynamic is a relationship arrangement in which a woman (the vixen) engages in sexual activity with other men while her male partner (the stag) watches, facilitates, or is present. Unlike cuckolding, the StealthingThe non-consensual removal of a condom during sexual activity without the knowledge or agreement of the other person. Stealthing is a serious consent violation and is illegal in several jurisdictions, including Canada.STI PreventionSTI prevention in the lifestyle community refers to the practices and protocols used to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections. This includes regular testing, open communication about sexual health, consisten SubspaceSubspace is an altered state of consciousness experienced by a submissive during or after intense sensation or power exchange. It is characterized by a release of endorphins and adrenaline, leading to a sense of euphoria Swapping**Swapping** is broad lifestyle language for an agreed situation in which partners connect with others or exchange partners in some way. The term is not precise enough to describe the activities, pace, or boundaries invo SwingerA swinger is an individual or member of a couple who participates in the swinging lifestyle — engaging in consensual sexual or romantic activities with other adults outside their primary relationship, with the full knowl Swinger CoupleA committed couple who participates in swinging — engaging in consensual sexual activity with other couples or individuals, with the full knowledge and agreement of both partners.Swinger EtiquetteThe unwritten and written rules of behaviour that govern interactions in the swinging community. [Swinger](/explore/glossary/swinger) etiquette covers everything from how to approach other couples to how to decline grace Swinger House Parties**Swinger house parties** are private social gatherings hosted in a home or other private residence for people interested in meeting within the lifestyle. They can range from relaxed conversation and music to more struct Swinger PartyA [swinger](/explore/glossary/swinger) party is a private social gathering of consenting adults in the lifestyle community, typically hosted at a private residence or rented venue, where participants may socialise and en Swingers ClubA private venue where consenting adults gather for socialising and, for those who choose, sexual activity with other members. Swingers clubs typically have a social area and separate play areas, and operate under strict SwingingSwinging is a form of [consensual non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/consensual-non-monogamy) in which committed couples or individuals engage in sexual activity with other consenting adults, with the full knowledge and agr Swinging vs PolyamoryA comparison of two distinct forms of [consensual non-monogamy](/explore/glossary/consensual-non-monogamy). Swinging primarily involves recreational sexual activity with other couples or individuals, typically without em SwitchIn [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) and [kink](/explore/glossary/kink) communities, a switch is someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles, depending on the situation, the partner, or their mood. Switches are no Tag Team**Tag team** is informal adult language sometimes used for an arrangement in which two or more consenting people take turns giving attention to, or engaging with, another adult. The expression is not a precise set of rol Taint**Taint** is informal slang for the perineum, the area between the genitals and anus. Some adults use the word casually, while others prefer the anatomical term or different language altogether. Because body words can fe TakeoverA takeover is a lifestyle event in which a group, organisation, or community rents out an entire venue — such as a resort, hotel, or club — for an exclusive private event. Takeovers are popular for their privacy, curated Takeover EventA [takeover](/explore/glossary/takeover) event is a scheduled period at a mainstream resort or hotel when a [lifestyle travel](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-travel) company books a significant portion of the property for t Tantra / TantricTantra refers broadly to diverse spiritual and philosophical traditions with roots in South Asia. In modern wellness, dating, and intimacy conversations, tantric is also often used more loosely to describe a slower, more Teabagging**Teabagging** is explicit slang for touching a person’s face or mouth with testicles during intimacy. It can also be used jokingly in other contexts, which makes clear conversation particularly important when the term i Theme NightA theme night is a scheduled evening event at a [lifestyle resort](/explore/glossary/lifestyle-resort) or cruise where guests are encouraged to dress according to a specific theme. Common themes include white party, ling ThreesomeA sexual encounter involving exactly three people. A threesome can involve any combination of genders and relationship configurations, and can be a one-time experience or a recurring arrangement.ThroupleA throuple is a committed romantic and/or sexual relationship involving three people, all of whom are equally invested in the relationship with each other. Unlike a couple with a third partner, a throuple is a three-way TicklersTicklers are soft implements or tools sometimes used to create light, teasing, or unpredictable sensations during consensual play. The word can also describe tickling as an activity. What feels playful to one person can Top/BottomTop and bottom are terms used in [BDSM](/explore/glossary/bdsm) and some sexual contexts to describe roles during an encounter. The top is the active or giving partner — the one who performs actions, takes the lead, or p Topping From the BottomTopping from the bottom is a phrase used in some BDSM communities when the person in a submissive or receiving role attempts to direct a scene in a way that conflicts with an agreed dynamic. The phrase can be useful for TrainIn explicit adult slang, a **train** refers to multiple people taking turns engaging sexually with one participant. The phrase can sound casual, but it does not establish numbers, activities, order, or consent; those det TriadA triad is a polyamorous relationship structure involving three people who are all romantically and/or sexually connected to each other. In a triad, each person has a relationship with both of the other two, making it a Unicorn Hunting[Unicorn](/explore/glossary/unicorn) hunting is the practice of a couple actively seeking a single bisexual woman to join them for shared experiences. While common, the term has developed a nuanced reputation in the comm VaginismusVaginismus is a condition in which the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily, sometimes making penetration painful, difficult, or not possible. The experience can vary from person to person and may be influence VaginitisVaginitis is a general term for inflammation or irritation of the vagina. It can have several causes, including changes in the body's natural balance, irritation from products, infections, or other health conditions. Sym ValidationValidation is the act of recognizing that another person's feelings, experience, or perspective is real and understandable, even when you do not share the same view or agree with every conclusion. It can sound simple: “I VanillaIn lifestyle contexts, 'vanilla' refers to people, relationships, or activities that are conventional and do not involve the lifestyle, [swinging](/explore/glossary/swinging), or other forms of [consensual non-monogamy](VeeA Vee is a polyamorous relationship structure involving three people, where one central individual—often called the "hinge"—is romantically or sexually involved with two separate partners who are not involved with each o Verified MemberA lifestyle community member whose identity or profile has been verified through a platform's vetting process. Verification typically involves confirming that a person or couple is genuine and that their profile accurate VetoA veto is a [relationship agreement](/explore/glossary/relationship-agreement) in which one partner has the power to end or prevent another partner's connection with a third person. Veto agreements are common in some pol VibratorA vibrator is a type of sex toy that uses vibration to create sensation. Adults may use one alone or with a partner, and preferences about vibration, pace, and whether to use a toy at all differ from person to person. It Violet WandA violet wand is an electrical-sensation device sometimes used in adult BDSM play. It can create strong and unpredictable sensations, and the risks depend on the equipment, setting, health factors, and the people involve VoyeurIn consensual lifestyle contexts, a voyeur is someone who derives pleasure from watching others engage in sexual activity, with the full knowledge and consent of those being observed. Consensual [voyeurism](/explore/glos VoyeurismVoyeurism in the lifestyle context refers to the consensual enjoyment of watching others engage in sexual activity. Unlike non-consensual voyeurism, which is illegal and harmful, lifestyle voyeurism is a mutually agreed-Water Sports / Watersports**Water sports** or **watersports** is adult slang for consensual activities involving urine. The term is explicit and can mean different things to different people, so it should never be treated as a casual assumption, Wristband SystemThe wristband system is a colour-coded communication tool used at some lifestyle events and clubs to signal a person's openness to interaction. Different colours indicate different levels of interest or availability, all Soft SwapA soft swap is an arrangement between couples or individuals in the lifestyle community where partners engage in sexual activity with others that stops short of penetrative intercourse. Soft swap typically includes kissi Full SwapA full swap is an arrangement in the lifestyle community where couples exchange partners for penetrative sexual activity with full mutual consent. Unlike a [soft swap](/explore/glossary/soft-swap), full swap includes all UnicornIn the lifestyle and [polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory) communities, a unicorn is a bisexual person — most commonly a bisexual woman — who is willing to join an existing couple for a sexual or romantic experience. Active ListeningActive listening is a focused communication practice that prioritizes full attention, reflection, and clarification. It asks listeners to pause judgment, paraphrase what they hear, and check understanding before respondi Attachment StyleAttachment style refers to a pattern of emotional needs, expectations, and behaviors in relationships that originates in early caregiving experiences but can evolve across life. Common frameworks describe secure, anxious AutonomyAutonomy describes an individual’s capacity to make choices, set personal boundaries, and maintain a sense of self inside and outside relationships. It includes practical independence—like control over time and decisions Boundary RepairBoundary repair is the process partners use to acknowledge, address, and restore trust after a boundary was crossed or misunderstood. It combines accountability—taking responsibility for harm—clear communication about wh Calendar TransparencyCalendar transparency describes an agreed-upon level of visibility into scheduling, plans, and time commitments among partners. It ranges from shared event calendars for logistical coordination to agreed signals about av Closure ConversationA closure conversation is a deliberate discussion aimed at ending or reshaping a relationship in a respectful way. It offers space to share experiences, acknowledge what changed, and agree on next steps—whether that’s de CompatibilityCompatibility refers to how well people’s values, needs, expectations, and lifestyles fit together in a relationship. It includes long-term alignment—such as views on commitment, parenting, and time use—and short-term pr Conflict RepairConflict repair is the set of intentional actions partners use to address hurt, reset communication, and restore safety after a disagreement. It includes acknowledging harm, taking responsibility, clarifying needs, and a Dating IntentionsDating intentions refer to the explicit or implicit goals people bring to dating—whether seeking casual connection, long-term partnership, friendship, or exploration. Clear intentions help align expectations, reduce misu De-escalationDe-escalation refers to intentional techniques used to lower emotional intensity and prevent conflict from worsening. It involves verbal strategies (neutral language, reflective listening), nonverbal cues (grounded postu Emotional AvailabilityEmotional availability describes a person’s capacity and willingness to be present with their own feelings and respond to a partner’s emotional needs. It includes being attentive, receptive, and able to regulate one’s em Emotional LiteracyEmotional literacy is the skill set that lets people identify, name, and communicate their feelings clearly and accurately. It includes recognizing bodily sensations linked to emotions, distinguishing similar emotional s Emotional LaborEmotional labor is the often-invisible effort spent managing others’ feelings, smoothing interactions, or maintaining relational harmony. It includes anticipating needs, initiating emotional work like apologies or planni First-Date ExpectationsFirst-date expectations are the unspoken or negotiated assumptions people bring to initial meetings—about tone, pace, topics, and possible next steps. Clear expectations help reduce disappointment: they can cover honesty Friendship-Based DatingFriendship-based dating describes romantic or sexual relationships that grow out of established friendships. These relationships prioritize shared history, mutual trust, and preexisting emotional bonds, which can ease co Good-Faith AssumptionA good-faith assumption is the practice of interpreting others’ words and actions as motivated by honest, nonmalicious intent unless there’s clear evidence otherwise. In relationships and communities, it supports trust, Group DateA group date is a planned social gathering where multiple singles or couples meet together to share conversation, activities, and the early stages of mutual interest. It’s structured to reduce one-on-one pressure, encour Identity DisclosureIdentity disclosure is the intentional sharing of personal identifying information—such as names, relationship status, gender identity, sexual orientation, health disclosures, or lifestyle affiliations—with others. It’s Intentional DatingIntentional dating describes an approach to meeting and connecting that emphasizes clarity of purpose, explicit communication, and aligned expectations from the outset. Rather than flirting or casual encounters without d Intentional PartnershipAn intentional partnership is a committed relationship formed around shared values, goals, and agreed-upon practices rather than default expectations. Partners deliberately co-create how they relate—deciding on time, res Intimacy BudgetAn intimacy budget is a practical way partners track and allocate emotional, social, and sometimes sexual energy across relationships and life commitments. Like a financial budget, it recognizes that time and emotional a Long-Distance RelationshipA long-distance relationship (LDR) is a partnership where partners maintain an emotional connection while living apart for extended periods. LDRs require intentional communication strategies, agreed expectations about co Mutual SupportMutual support refers to reciprocal emotional and practical care between partners or within a network—where people intentionally attend to each other’s needs, offer help, and share responsibility. It covers listening, en Relationship MaintenanceRelationship maintenance encompasses the ongoing practices partners use to sustain connection, trust, and satisfaction. It includes routine communication, negotiated check-ins, rituals for affection, shared problem-solvi Personal AgencyPersonal agency is the capacity and practice of making autonomous decisions about one’s life, relationships, and boundaries. It involves knowing your values, communicating choices clearly, and taking responsibility for a Processing TimeProcessing time is the individual period someone needs to reflect, recover, and make sense of emotions or events before responding or re-engaging. It acknowledges that people vary in how quickly they can discuss feelings ReciprocityReciprocity in relationships refers to a balanced pattern of giving and receiving—time, attention, emotional labor, and practical support—where partners intentionally respond to one another’s needs. It isn’t strict tit-f Reconnection RitualA reconnection ritual is a deliberate, repeatable practice partners use to restore emotional closeness after drift, stress, or conflict. It can be brief and symbolic—a consistent check-in, an exchanged note, or a shared Relationship MappingRelationship mapping is a visual or narrative way to chart the connections, roles, and emotional landscapes among people in a network—partners, metamours, family, and close friends. Maps clarify who is connected to whom,Relationship MenuA relationship menu is a tool that lists preferences, boundaries, roles, and offerings each person brings to relationships—emotional needs, preferred support styles, availability, and negotiated activities. Think of it a Co-RegulationCo-regulation is the process by which people support each other’s emotional equilibrium through attuned presence, calming cues, and responsive behavior. Rather than expecting someone to self-soothe alone, co-regulation i Repair ConversationA repair conversation is a focused, respectful dialogue aimed at addressing hurt, misunderstanding, or harm and restoring the relationship after friction. It prioritizes listening, taking responsibility where appropriate Respectful DeclineA respectful decline is a clear, kind refusal that preserves dignity while honoring someone’s boundaries—used in social, romantic, or group settings. It communicates a decision without shaming, offering brief thanks or a Shared CalendarA shared calendar is a collaborative scheduling tool partners or small networks use to coordinate availability, commitments, and shared responsibilities. It can list dates for social plans, caregiving duties, travel, and Slow DatingSlow dating is an intentional approach to beginning relationships that emphasizes time, curiosity, and gradual disclosure over rapid progression. Practitioners prioritize getting to know values, rhythms, and emotional co Social BatterySocial battery is an informal way to describe a person’s current capacity for social interaction. It fluctuates with rest, stress, and context—low when someone feels drained and high when they’re energized. Recognizing s Social CompatibilitySocial compatibility describes how well people’s habits, social rhythms, expectations, and interpersonal styles fit together in shared relationships and social settings. It covers preferences around time together and apa Chosen FamilyChosen family refers to a consciously formed network of people who provide emotional support, practical care, celebration, and belonging outside of biological or legal kin. It can include close friends, partners, ex-part Transition TimeTransition time is the deliberate interval people build into relationships or events to shift roles, emotions, or settings—like quiet decompression after an intense gathering, a pause between dates when exploring new par Trust BuildingTrust building refers to the slow accumulation of reliable behavior, transparency, and mutual accountability that makes people comfortable relying on one another. It includes consistent follow-through, predictable bounda Values AlignmentValues alignment describes the degree to which people share core priorities, ethical commitments, life goals, and expectations that shape decisions and long-term plans. It goes beyond surface preferences to include attit VulnerabilityVulnerability is the willingness to show honest feelings, uncertainties, and needs in a relationship, accepting emotional risk in exchange for connection. It includes admitting fears, naming desires, and asking for care Access NeedsAccess needs are the adjustments and supports people request to participate comfortably and equitably in events and venues. They include mobility accommodations, sensory and scheduling preferences, quiet spaces, scent co Attendee ListAn attendee list is the roster of expected participants for a private event or venue, managed by hosts or organizers. It supports access control, capacity planning, safety screening, and privacy preferences. Lists can be Buddy SystemA buddy system pairs attendees so each person has a trusted contact who watches out for their well-being during an event—checking in, helping navigate logistics, and supporting safe departures. Buddies can assist with co SituationshipA Situationship describes a romantic or sexual arrangement that remains undefined, existing in the gray area between casual dating and a committed partnership. Unlike [Intentional Dating](/explore/glossary/intentional-da DTR (Define the Relationship)DTR, or "Define the Relationship," is a pivotal [negotiation](/explore/glossary/negotiation) where partners explicitly discuss their [dating intentions](/explore/glossary/dating-intentions) to establish mutual understand Love BombingLove bombing is a manipulative pattern of behavior characterized by excessive attention, affection, and flattery early in a connection to gain influence or control. While often mistaken for intense [New Relationship Ener BreadcrumbingBreadcrumbing refers to a pattern of intermittent, non-committal digital engagement designed to keep a potential connection interested without the intention of genuine investment or progression. Within the Velmora commun Green FlagsGreen flags are positive indicators and behaviors in a potential or existing partner that suggest a healthy, sustainable, and emotionally safe connection. Unlike [Red Flags](/explore/glossary/red-flags), which signal dan Slow FadeA **slow fade** is a gradual withdrawal from a romantic or social connection, characterized by a steady decrease in communication frequency and emotional engagement rather than an abrupt break. Unlike [Ghosting](/explore ExclusivityExclusivity is a social and emotional boundary where partners agree to limit specific forms of intimacy, typically sexual or romantic, solely to one another. While traditionally associated with monogamy, it remains a flu PolysaturatedPolysaturated describes a state in [Polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory) where an individual has reached their personal capacity for concurrent intimate connections. Unlike a fixed limit, **polysaturation** is a dynam Non-Hierarchical PolyamoryNon-Hierarchical Polyamory is a specific approach to [Polyamory](/explore/glossary/polyamory) where no single relationship is prioritized over others through structural ranking or inherent privilege. Unlike [Hierarchical CuckqueanA **cuckquean** is a woman who derives pleasure, often psychological or erotic, from her male partner engaging in consensual sexual activities with other women. Unlike the historical pejorative, the modern lifestyle term